How To Feel Happier

Apr 22

Happiness eluded me for years. Life for me used to be filled with overwhelm and big sighs. My thoughts kept me wide-eyed at 2 in the morning. Old stories on repeat. Mocking me. Telling me I’m not enough. Saying do this. Do that. Be her. Do more. I wanted to unplug the brain television. I also wanted to know how to be and feel happier.

After years of habitual self-judging, and self-doubt I was tired. Tired of living my life for others, tired of not loving the person in the mirror. Everything changed when I realized I had a choice. I could keep living ground hog day or I could choose to make small changes to find my happy.

I chose me. I chose to do things differently. I chose self-love. I chose showing up and doing the work. I chose to live my best damn life and make room for the happiness that had eluded me for so long. It takes personal work and commitment to feel happy, but feeling better about yourself is worth it.

I implemented 10 things that have become the guide posts for my happiness. I want to share them with you, because you deserve to find your happy and wake up feeling good. You don’t have to implement all 10. In fact I suggest picking 1 or 2 that feel manageable for you. As you start to feel better about yourself, you will find you are motivated to add more items from the list. Maybe you implement all 10 over time or maybe you add your own items to the list. Do what makes you happy!

10 Things You Can Do to Feel Happier

1. Exercise

Before you start grumbling that you don’t have time or you hate exercise, please take a deep breath. Exercise has so many wonderful benefits including making you feel happier. When you exercise your brain releases chemicals that make you feel happier, more relaxed and less anxious. The best part is you don’t have to slog it out at the gym for hours. Studies have shown that a 30 minute walk can boost your mood. So start slow and work your way up to 3 to 5 times per week for at least 60 minutes of movement. Not only will your mind feel clearer, but your body will thank you too. You may even find yourself feeling more confident as both your body and mind come into greater harmony.

2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Social media has created a culture of compare and despair. You think others lives look so glamorous, easy and more fun than yours. The self-talk is harsh as you think you aren’t doing enough or you aren’t enough. The flood of negative thoughts swirl in your brain as you put yourself down for not being like the curated photos on social media.

Comparison robs your joy and is the fastest way to feel stuck in your life. Your life isn’t meant to be a carbon copy of someone else’s. Social media or Pinterest can be a great resource for inspiration, but if you find yourself in comparison mode then it’s time to walk away.

Get curious about what you want for your life. Take action to acknowledge and challenge the negative self-beliefs that limit you from going after what you desire. Start to replace the negative self talk with more positive, and kind thoughts. Bring the focus back to you and what makes you unique. Start with these 25 personal growth journal prompts.

3. Limit Social Media

Have you found yourself traveling down the rabbit hole of social media? Scrolling for hours as you watch strangers dance or create crazy concoctions in the kitchen. Social media is a numbing tool that takes you away from the realities of life, but as mentioned before it can also zap you of your joy as you find yourself in comparison mode. Social media has been shown to increase feelings of loneliness, depression and the fear of missing out.

By limiting your screen time and actually going and living your own life you will create a greater sense of freedom and happiness.

4. Read Self Help Books

Reading self help books is a great way to feel inspired and learn so much about yourself and about others. Sometimes we aren’t ready to seek therapy, coaching or help outside of ourselves to feel happier. We still feel introspective and self help books give you a safe way to get curious while gaining valuable insights.

Reading is a great alternative to social media, it is expansive and provides new perspectives and a-ha moments. The writing is usually relatable with valuable take a ways. I am a committed self help book junkie. I have shelves of self help books that provide me with valuable insights in my own life and the lives of my clients.

If self help books are new to you, start simple by choosing any one of these 5 books with quick doses of positivity. 5 Books with Quick Doses of Positivity

5. Spend Time Outside

There is something invigorating about feeling the sun on your face and taking in a deep breath of fresh air. Even on a crisp day the sensation of the cool air on your face and in your lungs brings you to the present moment. The fresh air increases oxygen levels in your brain which increases your serotonin levels. Serotonin is the often called the natural “feel good” chemical that your body naturally produces. Being in the sunlight also increases your serotonin helping to boost how you feel.

Being outside does more than increase your serotonin it also helps you to feel better emotionally and physically by helping to reduce blood pressure, heart rate and muscle tension. So put the phone down, lace up your shoes and get outside for a walk. I promise you will feel better.

6. Make Healthy Food Choices

This one surprises me the most, but food makes a difference. There is nothing I find more satisfying than something rich and decadent to pick me up out of an afternoon slump or a bad mood. I feel satisfied for the moment and then after the sugar high wears off the sugar crash comes hard and fast. It can turn into a vicious cycle that leaves me feeling worse than when I first sought out something to lift my spirits. When I consciously make a better choice and reach for a piece of fruit or take time to roast veggies (honestly a favorite) I feel so much better both physically and mentally.

There is actually a reason for this as nutrient rich foods result in fewer mood swings and an improved ability to focus. Also at play is the growth of “good bacteria” in your gut which affects both your dopamine and serotonin levels sending positive messages to your brain. I highly recommend checking out this article which outlines the affects of making healthy food choices.

7. Start Journaling

Journaling is a great way to start exploring your thoughts in a private and safe setting. The things we ignore have a way of continually popping up until we take the time to look at what we are avoiding. There are many positive benefits to journaling including anxiety management, reducing stress, boosting creativity, and finding clarity which all lead to a happier you.

For more guidance on how to start journaling check out this blog post How to Journal: 5 Easy Steps If you have always wanted to start journaling, but felt intimidated by the process or not sure where to start let this be your road map.

Journaling has changed my life. It is something I do everyday (okay, I have missed a day or two) that brings me clarity around my thoughts, is a way to release frustration and allows me to unload some of my deepest thinking that I am not yet ready to share with the world.

8. Invest in a Coach

If you have been around for a while you know that I attribute my greatest wake-up and personal life changes to discovering and experiencing life coaching. Life coaching taught me how to feel safe even when I felt vulnerable, how to trust myself, which has allowed me to be more trusting of others.

Life coaching gave me confidence and increased my belief in myself. Life coaching changed my perspectives and the way I view our beautiful world. Life coaching provided experiences and opportunities that I would have avoided before.

I absolutely attribute life coaching to leading me to my happiness. This experience has been true for my clients as well.

Read what my client Kelly shared about her experience:

I have become skilled at changing the stories my anxiety tries to tell me and I no longer apologize for just being me.
I am gentler with myself and my mistakes.
I am truly just beginning to understand who I am meant to be and I am working on becoming stronger than I’ve ever been.

9. Stop Judging Yourself and Others

When you judge yourself and tell yourself unkind things you are stealing your own joy. Judging yourself is akin to comparing yourself to others. You are finding things about yourself that aren’t “good enough” and sending negative messages to your brain that you need to change. Often times when you find yourself judging others it is your own insecurity showing through. You are dissatisfied with an aspect of yourself so you look to find fault in someone else. This pattern of finding fault or seeking the negative robs you of your happiness. When you can remove judgement from yourself and others you open the door to feeling better.

Try using the free guide Nix Negative Thinking to help change your thoughts about yourself and others.

10. Remove Toxicity

Your life is probably filled with things that bring your energy down and zap your happiness. We get so used to the people, habits and things in our life that we feel we have no choice but to keep the status quo. This is the wrong mindset. You can make changes and you can remove toxicity from your life by making small changes.

If that pile of junk in the corner of your room drives you crazy, start cleaning it up. It’s as simple as touching one item a day and deciding to keep it or toss it. If you keep it you have to find a place to put it and it is not in the pile. If you have a other bad habits work to make new choices that feel better. If you bite your nails, invest in a manicure or spend time doing your own nails. If you can’t stand your job, start looking for a new one. If you have a friendship that is bringing you down, then gracefully release it.

Removing the toxicity from your life allows space for personal growth and your happiness to increase.

Conclusion: How to Feel Happier

Feeling happier no longer has to feel out of reach. I suggest picking a couple of items from the list that feel manageable to implement in your life. As you start to feel better about yourself, you will find you are motivated to add more items from the list. There is no rush or even the need to do all 10 things to feel happier. This is about what finding works for you. This list of items is just a launch pad for your happiness. A place to get ideas, try new things and find what makes you happy. I am cheering on your happiness. Leave a comment and tell me what you will try first. Cheers to being happy!