5 Ways to Embrace Midlife and Help Your Kids
Whoa - totally transported back to the first day of high school, circa 1980’s. Do you remember your first day of high school? The uncertainty of finding your classroom before the bell rings. The sea of kids that flooded the halls as you searched for a familiar face. The newness of it all and the hope that it would be a good year. All those emotions came flooding back to me as I stepped onto the new high school campus my son started the week before. Why did I feel nervous as I traversed the area around the school looking for a parking spot.
Shouldn’t I be over my own insecurities and reminders of high school hardships? As I navigated my way with map in hand from class to class I had a new perspective. I was able to see what I couldn’t see all those years ago that everyone was feeling the same uncertainty I was. All these parents wanted the best for their kids, just like they had wanted the best for themselves their first day of high school.
Here’s the thing as our kids head off on a new adventure, it often triggers our own remembered insecurities. A good reminder that life is an ever-evolving journey. Are you grappling with how to guide and support your kids without getting caught up in your own insecurities? Keep reading for 5 easy ways to embrace midlife and help your kids on their journey.
A Familiar Journey, a New Perspective
It doesn’t matter if your kids are flying the coop, starting a new job or a new school, it's like stepping into a time machine. We're transported back to those impressionable years of our own youth, a time marked by self-discovery, change, and, yes, insecurities. But what's different this time around is our perspective. When we experienced all these first we hadn’t yet captured the wisdom that comes only with the passage of time and experience. As we watch our own youth we remember those pivotal moments we experienced as we started something new.
Insecurities Revisited
Navigating new places and spaces, we may find ourselves revisiting old insecurities. Maybe the memory of our own struggles with body image, fitting in, or academic performance. The frustration of trying to juggle it all, feeling like there isn’t enough time in the day. We so badly want our kids to have a smoother journey and in most cases a better experience than we remember for ourselves. It’s the thought if I only knew then what I know now. Trying to impart all your lessons is as futile as expecting your teenager to wake up early on a Saturday morning. You probably didn’t do that and they sure they heck won’t either.
Reflection and Growth
Midlife is a time of reflection and growth, as old insecurities and regrets pop up they present a golden opportunity. You can use this time to heal old wounds and emerge stronger. As much as you want to keep your kids from making the same mistakes or shield them from the hard truth that life can be tough and people can be mean they need to figure it out on their own. You are who you are today because of the experiences good and bad that have shaped you. Now is an opportunity to reflect on yourself, your lessons, and ask yourself the question what do I want for me. Let your kids figure out what they want for themselves. You can help them and yourself through support. Below are 5 easy ways to embrace midlife and help your kids on their personal journey.
How to Embrace this Journey and Help Your Kids
Empathize with Your Child: Your kids experience is unique, just as yours was. Offer support, listen, and empathize, drawing from your own past experiences without imposing your “if only” list on them.
Self-Care: It’s time to prioritize self-care and self-acceptance. Reflect on how far you've come since you were where your kids are now, and celebrate your achievements and growth.
Seek Connection: Share your feelings with friends and loved ones. Chances are, they've experienced similar emotions. Sharing and connecting can provide valuable perspectives and support.
Stay Positive: Focus on the positives. New school, flying the coop and/or starting a new job can be a time of tremendous growth and opportunity for your kids. It’s also a time for you to pat yourself on the back and trust.
Learning Together: Approach this journey as a learning experience for both you and your kids. Embrace the chance to grow and evolve together.
This next chapter will move quick, use this time for your own personal growth and transformation in midlife. Embrace the insecurities that resurface, and remember that they are a testament to the richness of your life experiences. Your next chapter is waiting for you to write new stories and embark on a road of self-discovery. Let your kids embark on their own road of self-discovery. Sometimes they will want you as a passenger and sometimes they won’t. Either way it will all be okay.
Through empathy, self-care, and positive outlooks, we can navigate this chapter with grace and wisdom.
Wishing you a week filled with self-discovery and self-compassion.
written by:
Sandra Daniele
Certified life coach and founder of Sandra D. Coaching, formerly Wish on Wildflowers - midlife mindset coaching for women.
Sandra believes every woman should live a life of confidence, authenticity and joy - making you unstoppable.
